Adventures Of A Sex Coach In Quarantine
Updated: a day ago
Every Monday, on my Instagram Live, my husband MikaL and I will share what we're doing to keep our erotic energy alive during quarantine. This is a weird time.. stress, anxiety and frustrations can lead us to pull away from our sexual energy but you have to actively work at keeping it up. I created an activity called What's in the Jar?
Things you'll need to play: Glass Jar
Small strips of paper
2 writing utensils
Creativity - activities
To get ready for this ongoing activity we had to create the activities we'd pull from the jar. We each wrote down our ideas on little pieces of paper, not seeing what the other wrote to add an element of surprise day-of the activity.
Week One: The 3-Minute Game (created by Harry Faddis)
This game actually takes 12-minutes to play because you and a partner take turns asking (2) 3-minute questions. I encourage you to watch Betty Martin's 15 minute video to learn exactly how to play the game. Link above. The simple rules for the game are below.
First person asks the two questions. Then your partner will ask you the 2 questions. Set a timer for each question and let your creativity run wild. It doesn't have to be just touching with your hands, it can be any contact you can think of. The fun thing is.. you can play this as a non-sexual game or sexual game.
Question #1: How do you want me to touch you for 3 minutes?
Question #2: How do you want to touch me for 3 minutes?
Week Two: Fun with dressing up and exploring love languages
This week stress and anxiety about the global health crisis motivated us to have more fun this week and be able to let loose and bring in some laughter, relaxation and connection.
I had a cocktail while my husband, MikaL was finishing up work and I surprised him by wearing a wig and a fun/sexy outfit and started dancing around and getting him excited to join the fun. So we had a few cocktails and pretty soon after MikaL was wearing a wig and fun outfit..then we had a dance-off and made some Tik Tok videos. It was so fun!
Throughout the week we had a lot of check-ins with each other:
'How are you feeling?"
"Can I get you anything?"
" Would some sex help relieve some stress?"
"Let's have a quickie"
"Do you wanna pull from the jar?"
"Would an orgasm make you feel better?"
Then, when we felt our relational connection needed a little push.. we pulled from the jar to play 'What's in the Jar?' and had a couple pulls until we found something we both wanted to do or had the energy for. The activity we pulled was 'Explore Top 2 Love Languages, then show your partner love by doing something off their list'. MikaL and I realized we had never done the love languages quiz together (fully aware of what our top 2 were though). A really fun outline to follow and an activity I ask most of my clients to do is explore your own love language and if partnered explore theirs as well.
Take turns sharing the following:
Top 2 and Bottom 2 love languages
Why are your top 2 important to you?
How can you partner improve speaking love to you through this love language?
After we had this discussion we exchanged some love languages for each other and ended the day feeling loved, happy and relaxed. PERFECTION!